The sound of his deep voice penetrated my sleep and I opened my eyes. There he was, sitting on the side of the bed all dressed in blue. Half is face was covered in blue face-paint and what should be white in his eyes were also covered in blue. There was a darkness shining out of them even though he was smiling.
He was playing with his switchblade while his twisted eyes traced over my bare skin. I twitched as the cold blade met my leg as he stroke it with the blunt side down.
“Cut him” a voice even more
twisted than his eyes whispered inside my head.
“No.” I answered.
“Are you defying me Emelie?” the voice laughed.
“I’ll never hurt him!” I burst out and jumped up in a sitting position on the bed.
Tony just looked at me with delight. He licked his lips and placed his hand on my chin and forced me to look at him.
“You’re such a good and loyal girl aren’t you? You’re making me so, SO proud”
The words hit me like a storm of emotions. A warmth like no other spread from my gut and out through my body to my fingertips and my toes, and for some unknown reason my little toe was burning the warmest of all. I smiled and put my arms around him and kissed him on the neck. This was what true happiness felt like. At least that’s what I thought for a second before he removed my arms and gently, but firmly pushed me away. As fast as it had hit me the warmth left and a cold spread throughout my body.
“He doesn’t love you” she
whispered from inside my head. “No one loves you, you’re bad, you’re a
“No! I’m not! He loves me!” I screamed.
Tony looked at me smiling. He didn’t interfere or try to calm me down. He moved away slightly as if he wanted to make the internal struggle worse.
“See how he moves away from
you Emelie?” she whispered. “Cut him!”
“No! GO AWAY!!” I screamed and put my face in my hands slowly rocking my body back and forth.
“You want me to go away?” he said even though he knew I wasn’t talking to him.
“No! Don’t leave me! Say it Tony! SAY IT!” I panted as I grasped his arms.
“I don’t think you’ve deserved it Em-e-l-ie” he answered, punctuating my name.
“What can I do to prove it to you? What can I do to make you proud?!”
“Oh I think I’ll leave that up to you.” He answered, still smiling wickedly.
I smiled with the crazy shining through my blue eyes while Eve’s laughter was constantly ringing from inside my head.
“I’ll make you proud I’ll make you proud I’ll make you proud I’ll make you proud” I whispered and kept rocking my body back and forth and as I did so I saw the scar on my arm. The carvings that made up the word “disappointment”.